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George W. Bush
 
"One of the interesting initiatives we've taken in Washington, D.C., is we've got these vampire-busting devices. A vampire is a - a cell deal you can plug in the wall to charge your cell phone." - Denver, CO. Aug. 14, 2001
 
 

Random Quote
 
"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
— Humphrey Bogart
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#119 The hummingbird is the only bird that can fly backwards.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
is so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
 
 

One Liners
 
Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
A: The porcupine has pricks on the outside.
 
 



34,519 articles November 21, 2009 558,335 postings




Top 20 of All Time As Rated By Our Viewers

Female Rejection Lines
10. I think of you as a brother. Translation: You ...
02.07.2004

4.17
Top 10 Jokes Of The McGreevey Scandal
New Jersey's governor, James E. McGreevey, a married ...
09.13.2004

4.17
Top 36 Things You'll Never Hear A Redneck Say...
36. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
03.20.2004

4.12
Male Rejection Lines
10. I think of you as a sister. Translation: You're ...
02.10.2004

4.09
The Top Ten Reasons Why Men Prefer Guns Over Women
#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.
10.18.2006

4.09
Top Ten Questions NOT To Ask Your First Date
10. "What size bra you got there?" 9. "The voices ...
06.13.2004

4.08
Pet Peeves from a Dogs View
Blaming your farts on me. Not funny, not funny at all ...
05.05.2004

4.08
Why Halloween Is Beter Than Sex
10. You're guaranteed to get at least a little something ...
10.31.2004

4.00
Top Ten Fun Things To Do In A NASCAR Rain Delay
10. Sit in your car listening to PRN Radio. 9. See ...
04.07.2004

4.00
Top 10 Things NOT To Say To Parents When Picking Up A Date
"Sorry I'm a little late. I had to stop by the drugstore."
04.02.2004

4.00
You Know You Grew Up In The 80's If:
You Know You Grew Up In the 80's if ...
01.31.2007

4.00
Top Ten Signs You Have PMS
1) Everyone around you has an attitude problem. 2) ...
04.20.2004

4.00
Cop Humor: Top 10 Signs Your Partner Needs A Vacation
1) He keeps handcuffing himself by accident ...
03.19.2004

4.00
Top Ten Porn Movie Titles
1) Porn on The Fourth of July ...
09.17.2004

4.00
Top Ten Reasons There are No Blacks in NASCAR
# 10 - Have to sit upright while driving.
03.23.2006

3.97
What NOT To Do At A Job Interview
A survey of top personnel executives of 100 major ...
09.19.2004

3.94
Healthy Levels Of Insanity
At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair ...
04.01.2004

3.92
Colonoscopies And Their Comments
A physician claimed that the following ...
10.16.2003

3.89
Top 10: Things Never To Say While Lingerie Shopping
10) Try this one on, your sister looks great in it...
01.09.2003

3.88
Slogans For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...
09.04.2001

3.85

Top Goofs
 

1 Huge Ship Entering The Harbour 4.52
2 Pooty Paws 4.44
3 Mad Wife 4.41
4 Okla Homa 4.41
5 The Free Hugs Campaign Has Improved 4.40
6 My New Maid 4.39
7 Bareback Thong 4.29
8 From One Good Drunk To Another 4.29
9 Do You Have A Good Plan For Tonight? 4.27
10 Hall Of Fame: Best Husbands 4.23

 

Casino Joke
 
I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!
 
 

Classic Goofs
 

1 Tits T-Shirt 4.92
2 A Kodak Moment 4.85
3 Staring At The Ceiling 4.83
4 Poolside Beauty 4.82
5 Body Paint Lingerie 4.76
6 Depth Perseption Test 4.75
7 South Beach 4.70
8 Me and My Sitter 4.66
9 Inspirational 4.63
10 We All Need A Good Cause To Support 4.62

 
 

Poll Results
 
President Obama?
Very excited, still dancing in the streets
Best of two choices
He's keeping Bush's Sec. of Defense - nuff said
He's a crook and a liar, like the rest
McCain should have won
I'm voting for Palin in 2012
1,386 Responses
 
Submit A Question

 

Goofball Facts
 
A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
 
 

Features
 

2009 Deadpool
Don't miss out ... If you are a Goofballer, it's free. If you are not ... become a Goofballer!
01.22.2009