Search
 


Advanced Search
 
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Cookies must be
enabled to log in

Username:

Password:

Remember Me?

»Preview
» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?

 

Assorted Goofiness
BakerMedia
College Humor
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter

George W. Bush
 
"This is a Shia fella." —Bush, in a "Meet the Press" interview shown Sunday, Feb. 8, 2004, discussing Iraqi religious plurality
 
 

Random Quote
 
"They can't fire me because my family buys too many tickets."
— LaVell Edwards, BYU football coach and one of 14 children. (1986)
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#158 The first MTV video was "Video Killed the Radio Star," by the Buggles.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
is so slutty she is known as Homecoming Disease
 
 

One Liners
 
Q: Why are married women heavier than single women?
A: Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
 
 


Women Drivers

By: michaelcarlPublished: 04/29/2003
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and flipped the woman off.

"Man, that guy is stupid" I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic and here's why: p> I drive 48 miles each way every day to work, that's 96 miles each day. Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway so if you just look at the 7 lanes I am not in, that means I pass something like a new car every 40 feet per lane. That's 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile or 31,424 cars. Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper to bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4,000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars I pass every day. Statistically, half of these are driven by females, that's 18,000.

In any given group of females 1 in 28 has PMS. That's 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. That's 449.

According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That's 98.

And 34% describe men as their biggest problem. That's 33.

According to the National Rifle Association 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.

Flip one off?....... I think not.

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?

Related Links
  • How to Meet Women
  • Handcuffs the New Must-Have for Women?
  • Women Protesters
  • Women Sue State Over Vibrator Ban
  • Drivers May Run Red Lights To Avoid Robbers
  • Playboy Seeking 'Women Of Enron'
  • Off with Your Trousers, Leader Orders Women
  • Cab Drivers Have Larger Posteriors
  • Women Use Spray To Trap Cheating Husbands
  • Women Bare All To Protest War
  • Menīs Scent Sends Women into Shopping Frenzies
  • Alabama Women Gets Dumped
  • American Women Unite
  • New Garment Aimed to Give Women Extra Boost
  • Army Buys Same Size Bras For 500 Women
  • Inventor Puts Menstruating Women in the Hot Seat
  • Californian Inventor Hopes Women Make A Big Switch
  • Women on Viagra
  • Women gets caught in awful situtation
  • @#$% Drunk Drivers

  • More Rants...

     

    Search
     


    Advanced Search
     
    This Section

    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    Not me either (0 replies)
    started by roger
    (05.08.2003 1:18:29 AM EST)


    I know what can happen


    Just protecting my sheep
    lmfao (0 replies)
    started by bigjohn2
    (05.07.2003 4:00:57 PM EST)

    yeah better watch out for them...

    See guys? (0 replies)
    started by meesha
    (05.07.2003 11:22:34 AM EST)

    You should be nice to us gals when we're on the road!

    *Meow*

    LOL (1 reply)
    started by marvin
    (05.03.2003 4:27:50 AM EST)

    you know that 72% of statistics are just made up .... like this comment ?

    Kiss My Ass ;-)

    Look's like... (0 replies)
    started by michaelcarl
    (05.01.2003 7:05:18 PM EST)

    I open a can of worm's.

    Rock & Roll

    Or (0 replies)
    started by beo469
    (04.30.2003 7:46:07 PM EST)

    Just run the offender off the road. Male or Female,

    y'know (0 replies)  
    started by marcanthony
    (04.30.2003 3:24:21 PM EST)

    I think I would flip'em off just to see what happened. Then blame it on the twinkies

    You wanna touch my what?

    Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


    Most Recent
    American Dream
    George Carlin on the American Dream ...
    06.23.2008

    Nothing to Laugh About
    This is not a typical post you'd expect to see here ...
    03.20.2008

    Fun in San Diego
    Looking for a place to have some fun ?
    01.26.2008

    Tequila Christmas Cake
    Be sure to use a 100% Agave Tequila ...
    12.18.2007

    Rate This!

    3.70 Goofballs of 5
    20 Viewer(s) rated

    Rating the content is for registered users only.

    Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • One Year Ago
    Didn't You Find Who You Were Looking For?
    People never cease to amaze me ...
    09.18.2007

    Madness (6 years later)
    So much has changed since 6 years ago ...
    09.11.2007

    Two Years Ago
    Back Up, Back Up, Back Up
    How many times have you been told to back up your hard drive, your photos, your mp3s ... your porn? I spend enough time online each day that I should know better, but noooooo. Do I heed this advice? Of course not. Why? Because it would never happen to me. Until about six months ago.
    11.05.2006

    Problems Accessing Goofball?
    We have been getting scattered reports from Goofballers telling us they have not been able to access the site. In order for us to troubleshoot this problem effectively we need to know a few things ...
    10.26.2006

    Comments Made In 1955 (and I Remember Them All!)
    Comments made in the year 1955 ...
    10.15.2006

    A Goofball Wedding
    Many people have been brought togther by Goofball.com ...
    05.09.2006

    Lookie Here!
    The Solo Joke Book

    Goofball Facts
     
    A pig is a hog -- hog is a generic name for all swine -- but a hog is not a pig. In the terminology of hog raising, a pig is a baby hog less than ten weeks old.