Legalize It
By: assfuck	Published: 12/04/2000
Me & alcohol - we go way back. I first started drinking in my early teens. The usual story, parents busting my ass about every move I made, not fitting in, nerdly anxiety, etc. My parents were the type of people that felt like anything free or reduced price was worth having. If they could get over on a merchant and buy the next 18 years worth of soap for $0.54 a bottle with rebate, they were orgasmic. They were non-drinkers yet when offered a raffle ticket for a basket of liquor bottles, they could not resist. Thus, they were non-drinkers with a cabinet full of every sort of alcohol and an early teen with social issues. After a few years of self-medication, I was fully aware of the negative aspects of my friend Al. Around the age of 16, I met a pothead who sold me my first joint. Under cover of daylight, I took a few careful tokes of the joint and noticed it's effects beginning. Not much different than the intoxification my friend Al delivered, however several posititves quickly became apparent. First, I did not need to consume gallons of liquid, and thus did not have to urinate every 4 minutes. Also, I did not instantly smell like a wino. The final positive came the next day - I woke as if nothing ever happened - no dreaded hangover. I found the perfect drug. For years, we were best friends. Meeting my current wife changed everything. Even though I had not smoked in several months before meeting her, I liked that sometime in the future I could. Hence, our little talk in which I promised to not use those "illegal" drugs I had in the past. Her fallback defense is "because its against the law, thats why". She's not against Mary J for any other reason than the government says so. So here I am, thirty years old, self-medicating the stresses life deals me with Budweiser, and suffering all the drawbacks of same, when a few hits would do just fine. So leave me alone when my ass is killing me the day after when I gotta go to work and recover. Is it any wonder I go by the nickname assfuck? Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?
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Mary Jane (0 replies) started by qazsex (01.18.2001 2:49:52 PM EST) Your a Pussy!!!!!1 People who need weed are weak and pathetic and want people to feel sorry for them but people don't so fuck Off!!!

pathetic plea (0 replies) started by antifreez (01.04.2001 2:56:41 AM EST) Suicide King, i just want to say your plea for legalization is pathetic...even though i agree with it. How can the government tell us what we can and cannot put in our body as long as it doesnt affect anyone around us? It completely opposes our rights as human beings when the government runs our lives for us...so legalize marijuana for the people I need a smoke

Hallelujah brothah assfuck (0 replies) started by SuicideKing (12.14.2000 2:26:44 AM EST) thou sayeth the words of the Lord well...for he put this plant upon this earth for us, we shall partaketh of its fine buddeth and be high forever...let us also smoke opium..and eat shrooms...and do E, K, and DXM....shit, pass it over I'll do it bitch..lace that shit with rat poison, I don't give a fuck...I'll go out whenever it happens...let's huff ether, gasoline, and paint thinner, then rubber cement, nail polish, and airplane glue...and then jump off the roof! Would you like to learn to fly..would you like to see me try?...as Pink Floyd says. So fuck escaping from reality and escape from surreality into the big sleep, cuz it's a strange trip... §Üî©ìÐéK‡ñG Killers are silent

You won't get near me with that thing. (0 replies) started by epiwsedis (12.12.2000 5:23:06 AM EST) Only reading your definition of .... has gotten my goat. But then, isn't that what name calling is supposed to do? O.K. you win- this time.

legalize it....uh huh (0 replies) started by nutek (12.10.2000 11:59:26 PM EST) well...i have to agree. Mary J should be legalized. How many deaths a year are there from drunk drivers? How many deaths a year are there from stoned drivers? i don't know the answer to either question, but i bet that drunk people kill way more people than stoned people. Look at the violence record. Lots of fights and murders and accidents are alcohol related. You don't see potheads goin around pickin fights and shootin at people. We're too laid back enjoyin the buzz. i mean we might hop in the car and go for a drive, but it's usually to go pick up some pizza or chicken wings. i say legalize it. and stop sending people to jail for a plant. geez.....what a government we have. can't even decide on a president and they send gardeners to jail. bunch of poopy head if ya ask me.

Gone the way of the goofballer. (0 replies) started by epiwsedis (12.10.2000 3:40:54 AM EST) Mess, mess, mess all I have is mess. This is definately the life. Going around 2" tall has it's advantages. Of course, the major drawback is the Beattles. Nasty neighbors that used to be mine. Horseshit.

This BUDS for you. (0 replies) started by kylelambert (12.09.2000 2:28:34 PM EST) I agree 100% By the way I got 2 freaking POP UPS when I clicked on this. Whats up GOOFBALL. This used to be my favorite site. Its a shame GOOFBALL has sunk to this level.

hope (0 replies) started by sbaillie (12.06.2000 8:50:47 AM EST) Better hope they don't make alcohol illegal. Then you'd really be screwed.

my thoughts (0 replies) started by rook30505 (12.06.2000 1:27:19 AM EST) I used to be a proffesional pothead,and though I'm retired now(though I do smoke every once in a while,mostly quit cause of my heart condition),I don't see a damn thing wrong with tokin up once in a while.Yeah people go on about enjoying life without getting high or drinking,but I say "what the hell!".You've got what;a whole 70 years on this planet!Why not experiment a little and maybe...gasp!...try something new or different.I'll even bust a line once in a while.Whatever it takes to get a little fun out of life,maybe for you it's hiking or skiing.But for some people,it's burning a hooter in your back yard,or snorting a line and going out drinking.Bottom line:enjoy your time while you've got it,life's too fucking short to sweat the small shit.Wow.that was pretty good!I'm proud of myself! Pikachu is the devil.

lmao, jerk boy (0 replies) started by Anonymous Goofball (12.05.2000 10:05:45 PM EST) ok, i instantly know now you are a pussy whipped pot head wanna be. kick the bitch out, or get her high and do her hard, she'll love it. then you won't have this problem anymore. i've been getting hi daily for 25 yrs, been married 22 yrs and happily so, she has my full support. she knows my saying: wake and bake. pretty good for a 42 yr old, with 2 kids, a paid for home, a high paying job, a new truck, car, and motorcycle. i could go on, but then i may be bragging. once again, wake and bake, the best way to start the day!

lmao, jerk boy (0 replies) started by Anonymous Goofball (12.05.2000 10:05:35 PM EST) ok, i instantly know now you are a pussy whipped pot head wanna be. kick the bitch out, or get her high and do her hard, she'll love it. then you won't have this problem anymore. i've been getting hi daily for 25 yrs, been married 22 yrs and happily so, she has my full support. she knows my saying: wake and bake. pretty good for a 42 yr old, with 2 kids, a paid for home, a high paying job, a new truck, car, and motorcycle. i could go on, but then i may be bragging. once again, wake and bake, the best way to start the day!

Hahahaha!!!! (1 reply) started by CherryLne (12.05.2000 4:29:45 PM EST) I just have to say my favorite part of this whole article was a link to SK's fan page under pothead! LOL Way to go staff! :o) ~*CherryLne*~

just keep on pushin' straight ahead (0 replies) started by orhanbaba (12.05.2000 6:45:58 AM EST) whats wrong with being a fucking wino. its fun i do drink a lot. no drugs though, they're expensive...

OK (0 replies) started by Gruff (12.04.2000 6:23:41 PM EST) cool

know how it is..... (0 replies) started by bud420 (12.04.2000 3:53:41 PM EST) don't just use it as an excuse, enjoy the high or in your case the buzz. Once you start using drugs as excuses or to hide from reality you tend to have a problem...I should know I'm a dedicated pothead, but I enjoy the high and still deal with all that life has to throw at me. Go ahead Become a Pothead Take a toke & Pass the smoke

I have the same problem... (0 replies) started by iluvpie (12.04.2000 11:41:21 AM EST) my girlfriend hates it when I do a couple lines or smoke some dust or any hard drugs for that matter. I haven't been able to do a bump of K in years. The thing about pussy is that it always wants you to commit to it, but never wants you to actually have it.

Hold on a sec.. (0 replies) started by blahblahblah2 (12.04.2000 10:14:10 AM EST) I need to roll a joint and read that again.. Blah Blah Blah.. Logging in sucks

Simple (10 replies) started by obiwan (12.04.2000 4:50:00 AM EST) quit drinking too. And enjoy life for what it is rather than hiding from it. Otherwise you will end up really fucked up. E-chuta!

bewildered but true (0 replies) started by epiwsedis (12.04.2000 1:15:04 AM EST) I can't see the tree for the forest.

BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA (0 replies) started by barnyardstyle (12.04.2000 0:59:29 AM EST) BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA

hang in there (0 replies)   started by brucewolcott (12.04.2000 0:14:54 AM EST) life sucks sometimes,,but look at the bright side!!you will always be a goofball,,,party on!!!! thumbs up :Þ

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