A New kind of Beer
By: TheAdvisor	Published: 01/14/1999
TOKYO --What do an unemployed stockbroker, a karaoke bar and a beer company have in common? They are all involved in lawsuits over a beer that fizzles from hydrogen. The Asaka Beer corporation brews "Suiso" brand beer, where the carbon dioxide normally has been replaced by the hydrogen gas which provides a fun side effect of increasing the voice and thus has made the beer extremely popular at karaoke sing-along bars. Hydrogen, like helium, is a gas lighter than air. Exploiting this quirk of physics, men can now sing soprano parts on karaoke sing-along machines after consuming a big gulp of Suiso beer. The flammable nature of hydrogen has also become popular as singer ignite flames from their mouth using a cigarette. Mr. Otoma, a now out-of-work stockbroker is suing the Tike-Take Karaoke bar and the Asaka brewery for selling toxic substances and is claiming damages for grievous bodily harm leading to the loss of his job. The bar is countersuing for defamation and loss of customers. "Mr. Otoma has no-one to blame but himself. If he had not become drunk and disorderly, none of this would have happened. Our security guards undergo the most careful screening and training before they are allowed to deal with customers," said the manager of the Tike-Take bar. It seems Mr. Otoma drank fifteen bottles of hydrogen beer so he could maximize the size of the flames he could belch during a singing contest. He catapulted balls of fire across the room but was unable to win first prize since the judgement is made on the quality of the flames and that of the singing. He apparently was singing badly out of tune after fifteen bottles of the bubbly beer. Taking offense at his loss he belched blue fireballs at the judge which burned off her eyebrows, lashes and ruined her clothes not to mention her hairdo. Mr. Otoma was unapproachable by security guards as he was quite literally a fire-breathing dragon. A swift guard swept his feet out from under him. The manager continues, "The laws of physics are not to be disobeyed, and the force that propelled Mr. Otoma's legs backwards also pivoted around his center of gravity and moved his upper body forward with equal velocity. It was his own fault he had his mouth open for the next belch, his own fault he held a lighted cigarette in front of it and it is own fault he swallowed that cigarette." The Tike-Take bar assumes no responsibility for the subsequent internal combustion, rupture of his stomach lining, nor the third degree burns to his esophagus, larynx and sinuses as the exploding gases forced their way out of his body. His consequential muteness and loss of employment are, according to the manager, ?his own fault." Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?
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I DON`T BELEIVE IT (0 replies) started by donut38 (11.12.2000 1:56:56 AM EST) THEY STOLE MY IDEA BUT I WANTED TO USE HELIUM THE LAST THING WE NEED IS EXPLODING BEER TRUCKS OR BEER DRINKERS FOR THAT MATTER CAN YOU BELEIVE THAT NOBODY LIKED THE IDEA

Hahahahaha (0 replies)   started by Vandalier (06.27.2000 9:04:24 PM EST) That's one drink I'd love to get...make a version of the Hindenburg, why don't ya? Those funny Japanese...always a riot

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