Search
 


Advanced Search
 
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Cookies must be
enabled to log in

Username:

Password:

Remember Me?

»Preview
» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?

 

Assorted Goofiness
BakerMedia
College Humor
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter

George W. Bush
 
"In my judgment, when the United States says there will be serious consequences, and if there isn't serious consequences, it creates adverse consequences."
 
 

Random Quote
 
"If it weren't for pickpockets I'd have no sex life at all."
— Rodney Dangerfield
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#36 A duck's quack doesn't echo.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
... is so fat, She stepped on a talking scale and it said, "Please step out of the car!"
 
 

One Liners
 
Q. What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
A. The position of the dirt bag.
 
 


Hit the Floor

By: PhantomPublished: 02/28/2000
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

Not much of a news item but this is a true story.

On a recent weekend in Atlantic City, a woman won a bucketful of quarters at a slot machine. She took a break from the slots for dinner with her husbandin the hotel dining room. But first she wanted to stash the quarters in her room. "I'll be right back and we'll go to eat," she told her husband and she carried the coin-laden bucket to the elevator.

As she was about to walk into the elevator she noticed two men already aboard. Both were black. One of them was big... very big... an intimidating figure. The woman froze. Her first thought was: These two are going to rob me. Her next thought was: Don't be a bigot, they look like perfectly nice gentlemen. But racial stereotypes are powerful, and fear immobilized her.

She stood and stared at the two men. She felt anxious, flustered and ashamed. She hoped they didn't read her mind. Surely they knew her hesitation about joining them the elevator was all too obvious. Her face was flushed.

She couldn't just stand there, so with a mighty effort of will she picked up one foot and stepped forward and followed with the other foot and was on the elevator. Avoiding eye contact, she turned around stiffly and faced the elevator doors as they closed. A second passed, and then another second, and then another. Her fear increased! The elevator didn't move.

Panic consumed her. My God, she thought, I'm trapped and about to be robbed! Her heart plummeted. Perspiration poured from every pore. Then ...one of the men said,"Hit the floor."

Instinct told her: Do what they tell you. The bucket of quarters flew upwards as she threw out her arms and collapsed on the elevator carpet. A shower of coins rained down on her. Take my money and spare me, she prayed. More seconds passed. She heard one of the men say politely, "Ma'am, if you'll just tell us what floor you're going to, we'll push the button." The one who said it had a little trouble getting the words out. He was trying mightily to hold in a belly laugh.

She lifted her head and looked up at the two men. They reached down to help her up. Confused, she struggled to her feet. "When I told my man here to hit the floor," said the average sized one, "I meant that he should hit the elevator button for our floor. I didn't mean for you to hit the floor, ma'am."

He spoke genially. He bit his lip. It was obvious he was having a hard time not laughing. She thought: My God, what a spectacle I've made of myself. She was too humiliated to speak. She wanted to blurt out an apology, but words failed her. How do you apologize to two perfectly respectable gentlemen for behaving as though they were going to rob you? She didn't know what to say. The 3 of them gathered up the strewn quarters and refilled her bucket.

When the elevator arrived at her floor they insisted on walking her to her room. She seemed a little unsteady on her feet, and they were afraid she might not make it down the corridor. At her door they bid her a good evening. As she slipped into her room she could hear them roaring with laughter while they walked back to the elevator. The woman brushed herself off. She pulled herself together and went downstairs for dinner with her husband.

The next morning flowers were delivered to her room-a dozen roses. Attached to EACH rose was a crisp one hundred dollar bill. The card said: "Thanks for the best laugh we've had in years." It was signed, Eddie Murphy and Michael Jordan.

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?


More Stupid News...

 

Search
 


Advanced Search
 
This Section

ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

You must register to participate in this discussion.
Impossible (0 replies)
started by kjd10
(11.07.2001 5:09:17 PM EST)

Because Michael Jackson hasn't been black since the 80's. This has the stink of Urban Legend all over it. Amusing in theory, though.

no way (0 replies)
started by hardball
(10.06.2000 5:21:01 PM EST)

aint no brother givin no white bitch money less she suckin his dick.

Gun's Gun's we need more Gun's, what for, to preserve freedom.Don't ask what you country can do for you. Get off your lazy fat ass and get a fucking job.

Booring (0 replies)
started by breaker99
(09.27.2000 3:08:38 AM EST)

This story has been circulting for years for jaysus sakes. The 2 black men are often reported as Karl Malone or other "nice" black men. Urban legend it is folks.. check it out at snopes.com

Urban Legend (0 replies)
started by mrbreeze
(09.26.2000 9:10:00 AM EST)

I knew a lady at work who was dating a guy who had a female cousin whose lesbian lover had the same thing happen to her........
Only it was Lionel Richie....and but there wasn't any flowers.....
He banged her. Set her straight.

Fyson?? (0 replies)
started by napatak
(09.26.2000 3:36:36 AM EST)

I heard this story from this lady at work a couple of months ago. Cool.

1st in line (0 replies)  
started by Anonymous Goofball
(09.26.2000 0:37:24 AM EST)

I'm fist!

Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


Most Recent
Woman Kills Husband With Folding Couch
St Petersburg's Channel Five said the man's wife, upset with her husband for being drunk and refusing to get up, kicked a handle after an argument, activating a mechanism that folds the couch up against a wall.
08.09.2008

Brothel Offers Customers Gas Rebate
Clients of the Shady Lady Ranch will get a $50 gas voucher if they fork out $300 -- worth about one hour's worth of services -- at the brothel in Beatty, Nevada, 130 miles northwest of Las Vegas.
08.08.2008

Naked Man Arrested After Hijacking Las Vegas Bus
Maybe he lost his shirt at a casino. Police in Las Vegas say they arrested a naked man who stole a beer and then hijacked a bus several miles northeast of the Strip ...
08.07.2008

Man Dials 911, Complains His Sub Had No Sauce
The sauce for a spicy Italian sandwich was apparently a must have for one Florida man. The man, Reginald Peterson, called 911 twice after a sandwich shop left off the sauce.
08.05.2008

Rate This!

3.47 Goofballs of 5
121 Viewer(s) rated

Rating the content is for registered users only.

Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • One Year Ago
    Nude Man In High Heels Causes Lockdown
    McMINNVILLE, Ore. - A man wearing nothing but women's ...
    06.25.2007

    Mom Teed Off By Urinating Drunk Golfers
    OAK RIDGE, Tenn. - A mother teed off by drunken golfers ...
    06.24.2007

    Grandma Finds Condom In McDonald's Bag
    WELLINGTON, New Zealand - A grandmother was alarmed ...
    06.23.2007

    Man Arrested For Driving Golf Cart Drunk
    In the spirit of golf season ... I was actually surprised that this wasn't Roger.
    06.04.2007

    Two Years Ago
    Teattime Love Bite
    Was this the only way she was able to get him to make ...
    07.27.2006

    Kids' Show Host Fired Over 'Technical Virgin' Video
    The PBS Kids Sprout network has fired the host of "The Good Night Show" after learning she had appeared in videos called "Technical Virgin."
    07.25.2006

    And Why the Hell Do They Need Uniforms?
    Dennis FitzSimons, the chief executive of the company that owns the Chicago Cubs, said today that staff reductions would be needed to bring costs in line with other properties in the Tribune Co. portfolio.
    07.19.2006

    Aussie Woman Swallows 320 Condoms Full Of Drugs
    A woman who police allege ...
    06.29.2006

    Lookie Here!
    Monty Python and the Holy Grail

    Goofball Facts
     
    Mosquitoes are attracted to the color blue twice as much as any other.