10 Ways to Terrorize a Telemarketer
By: Anonymous Telemarketer	Published: 06/09/2000
10. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..." 9. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary. 8. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from. 7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends... would you be my friend?" 6. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. 5. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you a case of beer and some chips. 4. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger. 3. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!" 2. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out!Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?" And first and foremost: 1. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?
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Title:	Could you hold on ...
By:	reindeer
Date:	07.01.2000 4:37 AM EST

As soon as you find out what they are selling, start to act really interested and ask questions about it.
Now that they are sure that they have a sale, you interrupt them suddenly and act as if something just happened at your house and ask them if they could hold-on for a second. They WILL agree.
You then set the phone down and ignore it until they hang-up.
For added fun, you could keep a record log next to the phone to see who is the most persistant.

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Could you hold on ...   started by reindeer (07.01.2000 4:37:08 AM EST) As soon as you find out what they are selling, start to act really interested and ask questions about it. Now that they are sure that they have a sale, you interrupt them suddenly and act as if something just happened at your house and ask them if they could hold-on for a second. They WILL agree. You then set the phone down and ignore it until they hang-up. For added fun, you could keep a record log next to the phone to see who is the most persistant.

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