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How To Be Politically Correct When Talking About Women

By: PeterTogiasPublished: 06/02/1999
 
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She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN .

She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT .

She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE .

She is not HALF NAKED - She is WARDROBE IMPAIRED .

She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED .

She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES .

She does not want to be MARRIED - She wants to lock you in DOMESTIC INCARCERATION .

She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER .

She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE .

She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE .

She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION .

She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY .

She is not TOO SKINNY - She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT .

She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE - She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE .

She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS - She is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT .

She hasnot BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION .

She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE .

She does not GET YOU EXCITED - She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT .

She is not KINKY - She is a NON-INHIBITED SEXUAL COMPANION .

She does not have a KILLER BODY - She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE .

She does not GO SHOPPING - She is MALL FLUENT .

She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED .

She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED .

Shedoes not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY .

She is not COLD or FRIGID - She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE .

She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED .

She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION .

She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is GRAVITY RESISTANT .

She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE .

She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED .

She is not LOOSE - She is MORALLY IMPAIRED .

She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR .

She does not have THIN LIPS - She is COLLAGEN DEPENDENT .

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    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    AT LAST (0 replies)
    started by italiangirl11266
    (09.17.2000 3:46:40 PM EST)

    FINALLY SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS WOMEN

    Well, thery're true!!! (0 replies)  
    started by ashamancurtis
    (09.16.2000 11:26:09 PM EST)

    Just don't try to use them in a pollitically correct office!!!

    Insanity is not a detriment, it's a job requirement!!!

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