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"The only things that I can tell you is that every case I have reviewed I have been comfortable with the innocence or guilt of the person that I've looked at. I do not believe we've put a guilty... I mean innocent person to death in the state of Texas."-All Things Considered, NPR, June 16, 2000
 
 

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Assorted One Liners

By: acidintervalPublished: 05/12/2008
 
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Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem?
A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat

Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A. A different bar

Q. What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby?
A. Sum Ting Wong

Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A. A speech impediment

Q. What does it mean when the Post Office's flag is flying at half-mast?
A. They're hiring

Q. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
A. Because they're not going to work in the future either.

Q. What do you call a Mississippi farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A. A pimp.

Q. Why do Driver Education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex-Ed class uses it.

Q. What's the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo?
A. The Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe.

Q. How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the 'F' word?
A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell 'BINGO!'

Q. What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern fairytale???
A. A Northern fairytale begins, 'Once upon a time...' A Southern fairytale begins, 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit.'

Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A. Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States .

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    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    This was pretty (0 replies)  
    started by bd2son
    (05.12.2008 9:50:59 AM EST)


    funny in 1989 when I recieved it by fax, but still applicable currently.

    (_E=mcē_)

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