A husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them
are playing like they want to, so they decide to take private
lessons. The husband has his lesson first. After the pro sees
his swing, he says, "No, no, no, you're gripping the club way
too hard!" "Well, what should I do?" asks the man.
"Hold the club gently," the pro replied, "Just like you'd
hold your wife's breast."
The man takes the advice, takes a swing, and WOW! He hits the
ball 250 yards straight up the fairway.
The man goes back to his wife with the good news,
and the
wife can't wait for her lesson. The next day the wife goes for
her lesson. The pro watches her swing and says, "No, no, no,
you're gripping the club way too hard." "What can I do?" asks
the wife. "Hold the club gently, just like you'd hold your
husband's penis." The wife listens carefully to the pro's
advice, takes a swing, and THUMP.
The ball goes straight down the fairway ... about 30 yards.
"That was great," the pro says. "Now, take the club out of your
mouth and put it
in your hand and lets go for distance."