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George W. Bush
 
"But we will bring the weapons and, of course—we will bring the information forward on the weapons when they find them. And that will end up—end all this speculation. I understand there has been a lot of speculation over in Great Britain, we've got a little bit of it here, about whether or not the—whether or not the actions were based upon valid information. We can debate that all day long, until the truth shows up." —Bush, unwavering in his certainty that one way or another WMDs will appear in Iraq Source: The White House, "President Bush, Prime Minister Blair Discuss War on Terrorism," July 17, 2003
 
 

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"When I was a kid I had a friend who worked in a radio station. Whenever wewalked under a bridge, you couldn't hear what he said."
— Steven Wright, Comedian
 
 

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#212 Galapagos turtles can take up to three weeks to digest a meal.
 
 

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so ugly she make onions cry.
 
 

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Q: What's the difference between a paycheck and your dick?
A: You don't have to beg a woman to blow your check.
 
 


A Whopping Baby Boy

By: RobnoxiousPublished: 09/27/2009
 
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An LSU fan is drinking in a New York bar, when he gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar, announcing his wife has just given birth to a typical Louisiana baby boy weighing 25 pounds...

Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the LSU fan just shrugs and replies, "That's about average back home, folks, like I said, my boy's a typical Louisiana baby boy. He’s gonna be a LSU football player.'

Congratulations showered him from all around, amid many exclamations of 'WOW!' One woman actually fainted due to sympathy pains. Two weeks later, he returns to the bar. The bartender says,"Say, aren't you the father of that typical Louisiana baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth?

Everybody's been making bets about how big he'd be in two weeks. So, how much does he weigh now?' The proud father answers, 'Seventeen pounds.' The bartender is puzzled, concerned and a little suspicious. 'What happened? He already weighed 25 pounds the day he was born!'

The Louisiana father takes a slow swig of his beer, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says, 'Had him circumcised.'

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