The Five Kinds Of Sex
By: thegrandpatron	Published: 02/08/2002
1. The first is Smurf Sex. This happens during the honeymoon period, you both keep doing it until you are blue in the face. 2. The second is Kitchen Sex. This is at the beginning of the marriage, you'll have sex anywhere, anytime, even in the kitchen. 3. The third kind is Bedroom Sex. You have calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids, so you gotta do it in the bedroom. 4. The fourth kind is Hallway Sex. This is where you pass each other in the hallway and say, "Fuck You!" 5. There is also a fifth kind of sex: Courtroom Sex. This is when you get divorced and your wife screws you in front of everyone in the room. Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?
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and the four kinds of orgasms (0 replies) started by roger (02.23.2002 10:39:24 PM EST) The positive orgasm: The woman yells, "oh yes, oh yes, ohhhhh YES. The negative orgasm: The woman yells, "oh no, oh no, ohhhh NO!! The Religious orgasm The woman yells, "Oh God, oh God, ohhhhh God!!! The fake orgasm The woman yells, "Oh Grand Patron, Oh Grand Patron, Ohhhhh Grand Patron. waaaaaa hahahahahaha Just protecting my sheep

3.5 is also (0 replies) started by beckdaddy (02.08.2002 6:21:45 PM EST) Smurf sex, but it's because if you hold your breath until you get some, you'll be blue in the face, LMAO! Funny stuff, GP! Nice shot!

Consider me screwed (0 replies) started by kweenbee (02.08.2002 12:24:15 PM EST) Good joke bud. ^5 Love the country, live to pee outside!

My favorite is (0 replies) started by thegrandpatron (02.08.2002 7:19:55 AM EST) Rodeo Style That were you get the gal on all fours and climb on from behind (like in Doggie style). Then just as she's really getting into it, you lean over and whisper in her ear, "Your sister likes it this way too". Then you try to stay on for 8 seconds. !! Yeeee Haaaaaw !!

Reminded of a quote (0 replies) started by malcom (02.08.2002 6:34:12 AM EST) "I like sex".,lumpofshit.

It's worse than that (3 replies) started by tjshere (02.08.2002 4:03:29 AM EST) Your wife's LAWYER takes your virginity in front of everyone in the room. Never fear.....TJ's here!

There's always phone sex :- (0 replies)   started by marvin (02.08.2002 2:15:17 AM EST) Do you talk to your wife during sex ? Only if she's on the phone.

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