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George W. Bush
 
"But the true threats to stability and peace are these nations that are not very transparent, that hide behind the-that don't let people in to take a look and see what they're up to. They're very kind of authoritarian regimes. The true threat is whether or not one of these people decide, peak of anger, try to hold us hostage, ourselves; the Israelis, for example, to whom we'll defend, offer our defenses; the South Koreans." -George W. Bush, in a media roundtable discussion, March 13, 2001
 
 

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"You know the world is off tilt, when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest basketball player is Chinese, and Germany doesn't want to go to war."
— Charles Barkley
 
 

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#14 Camel's milk does not curdle.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
... is so fat, She can't even jump to a conclusion.
 
 

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Q: How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose?
A: 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 ass, 1 beaver, an unknown number of hares, and a fish no one can find!
 
 


Martian Sex

By: MissPKPublished: 01/09/2001
 
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The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough frequent flier miles. They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things. Mike asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc...

Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex. "Just how do you guys do it?" asks Maureen. "Pretty much the way you do," responds the Martian. Discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another.

Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He's got only a teeny, weeny member about half an inch long and just a quarter inch thick.

"I don't think this is going to work," says Maureen. "Why?" he asks, "What's the matter?"

"Well," she replies, "It's just not long enough to reach me!"

"No problem," he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with his palm. With eachslap of his forehead, his member grows until it's quite impressively long.

"Well," she says, "That's quite impressive, but it's still pretty narrow..."

"No problem," he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each pull, his member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is extremely exciting to the woman.

"Wow!" she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made mad, passionate love.

The next day the couples rejoin their normal partners and go their separate ways. As they walk along, Mike asks "Well, was it any good?"

"I hate to say it," says Maureen, "but it was pretty wonderful. How about you?"

"It was horrible," he replies, All I got was a headache. All she kept doing the whole time was slapping my forehead and pulling my ears."

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    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    um, (0 replies)
    started by SuzieQ
    (01.09.2001 5:53:22 PM EST)

    this is so old, my grandma knows it.

    You shouldn't have a headache after sex. (0 replies)
    started by NakedCanuck
    (01.09.2001 4:15:29 PM EST)


    But if you do have a headache, sex is the best medicine.
    (No TJ, I mean sex with another person... 8)

    The Naked CanuckEverybody is somebody else’s weirdo.

    i guess (0 replies)
    started by jci986
    (01.09.2001 2:55:26 PM EST)

    this guy just didnt size up

    c'mon (0 replies)
    started by barnyardstyle
    (01.09.2001 1:23:26 PM EST)

    quit posting the same jokes over and over

    It's In The Archives (1 reply)
    started by Anonymous Goofball
    (01.09.2001 4:02:51 AM EST)

    The last two jokes I read by this person I read about a year ago. They were posted by Robnoxious and funnier the 1st time......

    YOU JUST CAN`T SATISFY SOME WOMEN (0 replies)  
    started by donut38
    (01.09.2001 0:04:56 AM EST)

    KNOW MATTER WHAT PLANET THEY ARE FROM

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