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George W. Bush
 
"But here in Texas we took [trial lawyers] on and got some good medical—medical malpractice, which evidently had a few loopholes in it." Source: PR Newswire, "Remarks by the President at the Economic Forum Health Care Security Session," Aug. 13, 2002
 
 

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"I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day because that means it'sgoing to be up all night."
— Steven Wright, Comedian
 
 

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#202 The mouth of the Statue of Liberty is three feet wide.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
so ugly she could scare a dog off a meat truck.
 
 

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Q: Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box?
A: She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, and moaning, "Lie to me!"
 
 


Condom Mystery

By: reeksyPublished: 07/15/2000
 
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A young London woman is driving through the rich farming soils of the west country of England when her car begins to make a spluttering noise and breaks down. Luckily she is not far from a local farm where she assumes that help can be found. As she splutters to a halt outside the farmhouse she notices the farmer leaning on a wall.

She calls out of the window "Can I use your phone? I've broken down and need a mechanic." The farmer regrettably tells her that the garage is now closed and she won't be able to get help until the following morning, but he does say that she can sleep in the farmhouse on one condition, she will have to sleep in the same bed as his 2 sons. Being a modern woman she agrees.

That night as she falls asleep one son wakes up and says "Hey, do you want a good hard shag?" The woman tells him that he can but on the one condition that he wears a condom.

"What's that" he remarks as she pulls out his johnson. "Well" she says "it stops me from having your baby if I don't want to." The son agrees and soon they are humping away. The noise awakes the other son who asks the woman is he can shag her too. The woman agrees again but tells him to wear a condom as well. He agrees as she explains why he has to wear it.

Later in the following morning the mechanic finally comes and her car is fixed and she drives back to London. The one son looks at his brother and says "Do you really care if that woman has our baby, after all she does live all over to the east in London?"

"No you are right" says the other son. "I don't give a toss about whether she has our baby let's take these friging rubber things off, I'm dying to take a piss!"

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ok (0 replies)
started by dmooyer
(01.23.2002 11:37:41 AM EST)

ok

uncerton what this means

puhh-leeze (0 replies)
started by crazed
(09.19.2000 9:43:55 PM EST)

DEFINATELY FUBAR

condoms??? (0 replies)
started by Anonymous Goofball
(09.12.2000 6:54:54 PM EST)

are they dumb or what???

damn country hicks (0 replies)
started by DaWolfE
(08.25.2000 7:40:53 PM EST)

funny as hell

i came, i saw, i conquered!!! (0 replies)
started by tungtrixxx
(07.15.2000 2:04:09 PM EST)

REDNECKS!!!!!

Please sir, may i have more....

crazy (0 replies)
started by Anonymous Goofball
(07.15.2000 1:33:11 AM EST)

thats a stupid hillbilly for ya

thats about it (0 replies)  
started by Albatros
(07.15.2000 0:16:22 AM EST)

yep, damn yokels. once again, check my fan page for the song about these ppl. it sums up there life pretty good i think




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