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Assorted Goofiness
BakerMedia
College Humor
EHOWA
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JokeDump
Mike's List
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George W. Bush |
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"I used the expression 'ride herd.' I don't know if anybody understood the meaning. It's a little informal in diplomatic terms. I said, we're going to put a guy on the ground to ride herd on the process. See them all scratching their heads."—Bush, realizing few people understand him when he speaks Source: New York Times, "The President's Trip, In the President's Words: 'A Mutual Desire to Work Toward the Vision," June 5, 2003
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Random Quote |
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"Yes, the president should resign. He has lied to the American people, time and time again, and betrayed their trust. He is no longer an effective leader. Since he has admitted guilt, there is no reason to put the American people through an impeachment. He will serve absolutely no purpose in finishing out his term; the only possible solution is for the president to save some dignity and resign."
— William Jefferson Clinton, 1974, regarding Richard Nixon and the Watergate scandal
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Snapple Facts |
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#159 The first TV show ever to be put into reruns was "The Lone Ranger".
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Yo Mama ... |
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is so greasy she sweats Crisco!
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One Liners |
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Q: Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts!
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 Rolling the Dice | | By: Dirk Steele | Published: 09/24/1999 | | |  |
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It's 8:00 AM at a gambling casino. Two bored dealers are
waiting around for someone to walk up and try their luck at the
craps table. A very attractive lady comes in and wants to bet
twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. The
dealers agree.
She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier
when I'm bottomless."
With that she strips naked from the waist down, and rolls
the dice while yelling, "Momma needs a new pair of pants!"
She then begins jumping up and down and hugging each of the
dealers. "YES! I WIN! I WIN!"
With that she picks up her money and clothes and quickly
leaves. The dealers just stare at each other dumbfounded.
Finally one of them asks, "What did she roll anyway?"
The other answers, "I don't know. I thought YOU were
watching the dice!"
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| Two Years Ago
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| Lookie Here!
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Goofball Facts |
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It takes a lobster approximately seven years to grow to be one pound.
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