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Assorted Goofiness
College Humor
BakerMedia
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George W. Bush |
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"And then we marched to war, war in Afghanistan and Iraq, all of whichaffected the people's confidence. That's a tough — tough hurdles to cross,when it came to our economy." —Bush, speaking in Winston-Salem, N.C., Nov. 7, 2003
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Random Quote |
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"I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for TEN MINUTES."
— Homer Simpson
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Snapple Facts |
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#179 The first lighthouse to use electricity was the Statue of Liberty in 1886.
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Yo Mama ... |
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hair is so short when she braided it they looked like stitches.
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One Liners |
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Q: How do you play Taliban bingo?
A: Call out B-52, F-16, B-1...
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 You know you're at a Redneck Church if... | | By: roger | Published: 09/06/1999 | | |  |
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1. The doors are never locked.
2. The Call to Worship is ,"Y'all come on in!"
3. People grumble about Noah letting coyotes on the Ark.
4. The Preacher says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the
offering" -- and five guys stand up.
5. The restroom is outside.
6. Opening day of deer hunting season is recognized as an
official church holiday.
7. A member requests to be buried in his four-wheel drive truck
because, "I ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get me out
of".
8. In the annual stewardship drive there is at least one pledge
of "two calves."
9. Never in its entire 100-year history has one of its pastors
had to buy any meat or vegetables.
10. When it rains, everybody's smiling.
11. Prayers regarding the weather are a standard part of every
worship service.
12. A singing group is known as "The O.K. Chorale."
13. The church directory doesn't have last names.
14. The pastor wears boots.
15. Four generations of one family sit together in worship every
Sunday.
16. The only time people lock their cars in the parking lot is
during the summer and then only so their neighbors can't leave
them a bag of squash.
17. There is no such thing as a "secret" sin.
18. Baptism is referred to as "branding."
19. There is a special fund-raiser for a new septic tank.
20. Finding and returning lost sheep is not just a parable.
21. You miss worship one Sunday morning and by 2 o'clock that
afternoon you have had a dozen phone calls inquiring about your
health.
22. High notes on the organ set dogs in the parking lot to
howling.
23. People wonder when Jesus fed the 5,000 whether the two fish
were bass or catfish.
24. It's not heaven, but you can see heaven from there.
25. The final words, of the benediction are, "Y'all come on back
now, ya hear!"
Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com? | | | |
More Regional Jokes...
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| Title: |
Redneck Church |
| By: |
nyomi
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| Date: |
04.11.2001 8:30 PM EST |
pretty funny. cracked me up !
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Current Thread and Replies |
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| Lookie Here!
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Casino Joke |
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I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!
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Goofball Facts |
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In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
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