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Assorted Goofiness
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George W. Bush |
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"Should any Iraqi officer or soldier receive an order from Saddam Hussein ... don't follow that order. Because if you choose to do so, when Iraq isliberated, you will be treated, tried and persecuted as a war criminal."Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "Taking Action to Strengthen Small BusinessRemarks by the President on the Economy," Jan. 22, 2003
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Random Quote |
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"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."
— Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota. (1996)
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Snapple Facts |
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#155 In 1926, the first outdoor mini-golf courses were built on rooftops in NYC.
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Yo Mama ... |
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is so slutty she was on the cover of wheaties, with her legs open, and it said "breakfast of the champs"
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One Liners |
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Q: Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts!
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 Redneck Wedding | | By: PeteTogias | Published: 06/03/1999 | | |  |
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Redneck Billy Joe and Redneck Mary Sue are joined in holy
matrimony. They spend their wedding night at the Motel 6
Honeymoon Suite in
Parthenon, Arkansas.
They've abstained from the big deed until this very night. Just
as Billy Joe is about to make love to his new wife for the first
time, she stops him.
"Wait, Billy Joe. I just thought you should know.. this ain't
just our first time. It's my first time ever. I'm a virgin. I
been savin' myself just for you."
"Whut you say, Mary Sue?"
"I said, I'm a virgin. One hunnert percent cherry. Just for you
on our weddin' night."
"Yore
a VIRGIN??" He asked somewhat shocked.
"That's right. Please be gentle."
"Gentle? Gentle my ass. I'm outta here!" With that, Billy Joe
pulls up his pants, and leaves his virgin bride lying alone. He
slams the door, gets in his pickup, and drives home.
"Paw! Paw! Wake up! Yore not gonna believe this!"
"Huh? Billy Joe, whut the hell you doin' here? It's 3AM on
yore weddin' night! Why the hell ain't you and that purty new
wife of yours in a
haystack somewhere doing it like
rabbits?"
"Paw, I wuz all set to do just that, when Mary Sue up and tells
me that she's a virgin!" "A VIRGIN?"
"That's right, Paw. One hunnert percent cherry. As soon as she
told me, I got the hell outta there as fast as I could!"
"Well, son, lemme tell you, you did the right thing... Cuz if
she ain't good enough fer her own fam'ly, she certainly ain't
good enough for ours!"
Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com? | | | | Related Links
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More Regional Jokes...
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ARTICLE FORUM LIST |
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You must register to participate in this discussion.
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lmao
(0 replies)
started by
krisann
(09.05.2000 11:21:23 PM EST)
this wuz so funny ,well got to run oh shit! I just triped over the transmition in the hall.kris mcbride
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| Lookie Here!
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Casino Joke |
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I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!
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Goofball Facts |
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The Mola Mola, or Ocean Sunfish, lays up to 5,000,000 eggs at one time.
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