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George W. Bush
 
"People make suggestions on what to say all the time. I'll give you an example; I don't read what's handed to me. People say, 'Here, here's your speech, or here's an idea for a speech.' They're changed. Trust me."-Interview with the New York Times, March 15, 2000
 
 

Random Quote
 
"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."
— Vice President Dan Quayle
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#96 The average American will eat 35,000 cookies in his/her lifetime.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
is so stupid that under "Education" on her job application, she put, "Hooked on Phonics."
 
 

One Liners
 
Q: How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say f*ck?
A: Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
 
 


How To Install A Home Security System In The South

By: lee11Published: 02/25/2008
 
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1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Hey Bubba, Me, Big Jim, Duke and Slim went for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls-- they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.

"Cooter"

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