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George W. Bush
 
"The consultation process is a positive part of really allowing people to fully understand our deep concerns about this man, his regime and his desires to have weapons of mass destruction. Last question—and then I've got to go chip and putt for a birdie. [Laughter.] It was a good drive." —Bush, interrupting an Aug. 10 golf game in Waco, Texas, for a Q & A discussing possible U.S. military action against Iraq. Source: The Washington Post, "White House Veteran to New Guy: Oh, Beha-aaa-ave!," Lloyd Grove, Aug. 13, 2002
 
 

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Republican Fisherman

By: sy993588Published: 03/25/2007
 
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A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below.

She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude."

She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican."

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded,

"You must be a Democrat."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met,but, somehow, now it's my fault."

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    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    Do You Want To Know The Real Difference (1 reply)  
    started by thegrandpatron
    (03.25.2007 5:27:05 AM EST)


    A Republican and a Democrat were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person.

    The Republican gave the homeless person his business card and told him to come to his business for a job. He then took twenty dollars out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless person.

    The Democrat was very impressed, and when they came to another homeless person, he decided to help. He walked over to the homeless person and gave him directions to the welfare office. He then reached into the Republican's pocket and got out twenty dollars. He kept $15 for administrative fees and gave the homeless person five.

    Now you understand the difference between Republicans and Democrats

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