Search
 


Advanced Search
 
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Cookies must be
enabled to log in

Username:

Password:

Remember Me?

»Preview
» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?

 

Assorted Goofiness
BakerMedia
College Humor
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter

S
upport Goofball.com

George W. Bush
 
"Jessica Simpson is here with us, which means we've finally introduced reality TV to the Lincoln Theater."—Bush, introducing the pop singer and reality TV star on March 14 at Ford's Theater in Washington (where Lincoln was shot). Source: Richard Leiby, The Washington Post, "Reliable Source," March 16, 2004
 
 

Random Quote
 
"I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly theprescription ran out."
— Steven Wright, Comedian
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#209 The largest pumpkin ever grown weighed 1,061 lbs.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
so ugly she is very successful at her job: Being a scarecrow.
 
 

One Liners
 
Q: What's the height of conceit?
A: Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
 
 


Depression

By: bd2sonPublished: 08/24/2007
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

A businessman was in a great deal of trouble. His business was failing, he had put everything he had into the business, he owed everybody-- it was so bad he was even contemplating suicide. As a last resort he went to a priest and poured out his story of tears and woe.

When he had finished, the priest said, "Here's what I want you to do: Put a beach chair and your Bible in your car and drive down to the beach. Take the beach chair and the Bible to the water's edge, sit down in the beach chair, and put the Bible in your lap. Open the Bible; the wind will rifle the pages, but finally the open Bible will come to rest on a page. Look down at the page and read the first thing you see. That will be your answer, that will tell you what to do."

A year later the businessman went back to the priest and brought his wife and children with him. The man was in a new custom-tailored suit, his wife in a mink coat, the children shining. The businessman pulled an envelope stuffed with money out of his pocket, gave it to the priest as a donation in thanks for his advice.

The priest recognized the benefactor, and was curious. "You did as I suggested?" he asked.

"Absolutely," replied the businessman.

"You went to the beach?"

"Absolutely."

"You sat in a beach chair with the Bible in your lap?"

"Absolutely."

"You let the pages rifle until they stopped?"

"Absolutely."

"And what were the first words you saw?"

"Chapter 11."

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?

Free tips on how to attract, arouse any women, kiss test, and more
Related Links
  • Election Depression Beaters
  • Itīs Fallen and It Canīt Get Up
  • Taking Phone Sex Way Too Seriously
  • Cold Turkey
  • Condolence Call
  • College freshmen: Born 1980
  • Slogans For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously
  • Mickey Rourke
  • Psychiatric Problems Stalk Military
  • Sex Facts, Let's Bang
  • Boxing Gloves On A Rooster?
  • Tyson in Isolation Cell After Hurling TV

  • More Miscellaneous Jokes...

     

    Search
     


    Advanced Search
     
    This Section

    START THE FIRST ARTICLE FORUM THREAD  

    You must register to participate in this discussion. There are no threads in this Article Forum yet. Please check back soon...

    Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


    Most Recent
    Unknown Chinese Proverbs
    Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
    11.17.2008

    Suicide Hotline
    Iwas depressed last night so, I called Lifeline.....
    11.14.2008

    Words And Alcohol
    Things that are difficult to say when drunk ...
    11.11.2008

    Mick Jagger's Frog
    A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. ...
    10.09.2008

    Rate This!

    3.38 Goofballs of 5
    16 Viewer(s) rated

    Rating the content is for registered users only.

    Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • One Year Ago
    Don't You Just Love Engrish?
    Doctors' office, Rome: "SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER ...
    11.19.2007

    Thoughts For The Weekend
    Wouldn't it be nice if ...
    11.17.2007

    Nurse
    A nurse walks into a bank totally exhausted after ...
    11.06.2007

    10 Year Old Blues
    A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about ...
    10.29.2007

    Two Years Ago
    Jack's Last Will And Testament
    Jack has died. His lawyer is standing before the family ...
    11.22.2006

    Two-By-Fours
    Some men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. ...
    11.21.2006

    How Moses Got The 10 Commandments
    God went to the Arabs and said, "I have Commandments ...
    11.20.2006

    Smart Granddaughter
    Grandpa was driving with his 9 year old granddaughter ...
    11.17.2006

    Lookie Here!
    Dilbert Gives You the ...

    Goofball Facts
     
    It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.