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	George W. Bush
	"I think it's important for those of us in a position of responsibility to be firm in sharing our experiences, to understand that the babies out of wedlock is a very difficult chore for mom and baby alike...I believe weought to say there is a different alternative than the culture that is proposed by people like Miss Wolf in society...And, you know, hopefully, condoms will work, but it hasn't worked."-Meet the Press, Nov. 21, 1999

	Random Quote
	"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy." — Tom Waits

	Snapple Facts
	#114 The oldest known animal was a tortoise and lived to be 152 years old.

	Yo Mama ...
	is so ugly doctors hire her to stand outside their offices to make people sick.

	One Liners
	Q: How do you know when you're REALLY ugly? A: Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.

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One Year Ago
	Not Happy This morning on the way to work I rear-ended a car at a stop light while not really paying attention. 10.01.2007 Further Clarification Unnecessary My neighbor found out her dog could hardly hear so ... 09.28.2007 Potentially Dangereous Situation: Question You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a drop off (The ground is 18-20 inches below the level you are traveling on), and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you. In front of you is a galloping horse which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is another galloping horse. Both horses are also traveling at the same speed as you. What must you do to safely get out of this potentially highly dangerous situation? 09.26.2007 What The Teacher Says And (what The Teacher Means) 1. Your son has a remarkable ability in gathering ... 09.25.2007

Two Years Ago
	Eulogy The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress ... 10.11.2006 My Private Part Died An old man, Mr. Goldstein, was living the last of ... 10.10.2006 Grandma's Boyfriend A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one ... 10.06.2006 It's Good To Be A Senior No one believes seniors . . . everyone thinks they ... 10.05.2006

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	Goofball Facts
	Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza a day.