"The person who runs FEMA is someone who must have the trust of the president. Because the person who runs FEMA is the first voice, oftentimes, of someone whose life has been turned upside down hears from."Austin, Texas, Jan. 4, 2001
Random Quote
"... and on our show tonight we have five Miss America contestants and also some dogs. I mean real dogs ... Come on, now, you know I mean dogs that bark!" — Johnny Carson
Snapple Facts
#75 The average person makes 1,140 phone calls per year.
Yo Mama ...
is so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.
One Liners
Q. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? A. Anyone can roast beef.
The teacher noticed that Johnny had been daydreaming for a long time. She decided to get his attention. "Johnny," she said, "If the world is 25,000 miles around and eggs are sixty cents a dozen, how old am I?"
"Thirty-four," Johnny answered unhesitatingly.
The teacher replied "Well, that's not far from my actual age. Tell me...how did you guess?"
"Oh, there's nothing to it," Johnny said. "My big sister is seventeen and she's only half-crazy."
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