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"You know, let me talk about Al Qaida just for a second. I made the statement that we're dismantling senior management, and we are. Our people have done a really good job of hauling in a lot of the key operators. Khalid Shaikh Mohammed. Abu Zubaida. Ramzi--Ramzi alshibh or whatever that guy's name was."—Bush, at a July 30 press conference Source: Washington Post, July 30, 2003
 
 

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Smart Ass Kid

By: marvinPublished: 04/12/2002
 
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A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with Harry, one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?"

Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the second -grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade!"

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Harry: "9"

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Harry: "36"

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the third-grade."

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?"

The principal and Harry both agree.

Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"

Harry, after a moment "Legs."

Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

Harry: "Pockets."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Harry: "Pants"

Ms. Brooks: "What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains a thin whitish liquid?"

Harry: "Coconut"

Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry was taking charge.

Harry: "Bubblegum"

Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?"

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.

Harry: "Shake hands"

Ms. Brooks: "Now I will ask some 'Who am I' sort of questions, okay?"

Harry: "Yep."

Ms. Brooks: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. Who am I?"

Harry: "Tent"

Ms. Brooks: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. Who am I?"

The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense.

Harry: "Wedding Ring"

Ms. Brooks: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good. Who am I?"

Harry: "Nose"

Ms. Brooks: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. Who am I?"

Harry: "Arrow"

Ms. Brooks: What word starts with an 'F'and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?

Harry: "Firetruck"

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last ten questions wrong myself."

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    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    My apologies, Marvin (2 replies)
    started by tjshere
    (04.13.2002 0:18:04 AM EST)

    This is a damn good joke and I really enjoyed it, but I am having problems commenting on jokes these days. I usually draw a blank when I try to come up with anything funny, and I don't want to just keeping posting, "LMAO, great joke" over and over again. The problem is with me, not your jokes.

    Check out that tongue action!
    Never fear.....TJ's here!

    How many did you get right ? (0 replies)
    started by marvin
    (04.12.2002 2:05:18 AM EST)

    I'm the one standing in the corner wearing the dunces hat ;-)

    LMAO @ principle (0 replies)  
    started by roger
    (04.12.2002 0:23:12 AM EST)


    My kinda guy.

    Wasn't expecting this ending Marvin...

    ^5


    Just protecting my sheep

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