"If you want to build a big project and you can't get insurance because of what the terrorists have done for America, you can put the project aside." Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "George W. Bush Participates in Rally at Oakland County Airport," Oct. 14, 2002
Random Quote
"I spilled spot remover on my dog...now he's gone." — Steven Wright, Comedian
Snapple Facts
#196 If you doubled one penny enery day for 30 days, you would have $5, 368, 709. 12#197 The first person crossed Niagra Falls by tightrope in 1859.
Yo Mama ...
so stupid she cooked her own complimentary breakfast.
One Liners
Q: What do you call a virgin on a waterbed? A: A cherry float.
Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scotland.
1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.
2. FORM A LOOSE GRIP.
3. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!
4. AVOID A QUICK BACK SWING.
5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.
6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.
7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU.
8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.
9. QUIET PLEASE...WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.
10. DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.
WELL DONE... NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, WASH YOUR HANDS AND GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFF.
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I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!
Goofball Facts
All of the cobble stones that used to line the streets in New York were originally weighting stones put in the hulls of Belgian ships to keep an even keel.
