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Assorted Goofiness
BakerMedia
College Humor
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter
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George W. Bush |
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"One of the most meaningful things that's happened to me since I've been the governor - the president - governor - president. Oops. Ex-governor. I went to Bethesda Naval Hospital to give a fellow a Purple Heart, and at the same moment I watched him - get a Purple Heart for action in Iraq - and at that same - right after I gave him the Purple Heart, he was sworn in as a citizen of the United States - a Mexican citizen, now a United States citizen." - Washington, D.C., Jan. 9, 2004
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Random Quote |
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"Whoever thought up the word "Mammogram"? Every time I hear it, I think I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone."
— Jan King
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Snapple Facts |
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#40 It is possible to lead a cow up stairs but not down.
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Yo Mama ... |
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... is so fat, When she runs, she makes the CD player skip... is so fat, at the radio station!
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One Liners |
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Q: Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A: A different bar.
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 A Born Salesman | | By: Robnoxious | Published: 06/01/1999 | | |  |
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Dan, a college student, is home for summer break. In order
to make a few extra bucks he decides that he is going to apply
for
a part-time job at the local K-Mart.
Dan fills out the standard application and is called into the
manager's office. The manager asks Dan, "Do you think you have
what it takes to work at the Big K?"
Dan laughs to himself, thinking, "Is he kidding?" But since it
was an interview he responded, "Absolutely." The Manager
continued, "In order to work here you need to be a salesman and
you need to be in touch with the customer. Do you think you've
got those qualities?"
Again, Dan laughs to himself, "Is this guy serious?" but he says
again, "Absolutely!" "Well let me show you how it's done," says
the manager.
The manager leads Dan to a counter and waits for a customer. The
first guy to come along drops a 50 pound bag of grass seed on
the counter.
The manager says, "That's a pretty big bag of grass seed ya got
there." "Yup," responds the customer. The manager winks at Dan
and says, "Ya think you might need a new lawn mower for that
grass you're putting down?"
Dan actually sees the lightbulb go off over the customer's head.
"Yeah! That's a great idea." The manager leads him back to the
lawn mowers and helps him pick out a really nice model.
"Ya see, Dan, that's how it's done. Ya think you can do that?"
says the manager. "Hell, yeah!" says Dan, "Just watch!!" Dan
steps up to the counter and the next man to come along drops a
huge package of tampons onto the counter.
Dan looks at the box and
then at the embarrassed customer,
"That's a pretty big box of tampons ya got there," says Dan. The
embarrassed man looks up feebly and says, "Yup." A moment of
silence passes and then Dan blurts out, "Would you be interested
in buying a new lawnmower?"
The customer looks up from his shoes and responds, "What the
hell would I want a lawnmower for?" Dan winks at his manager and
says, "Well, since you won't be having sex this weekend I
figured you might want to mow your lawn!"
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| Lookie Here!
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Goofball Facts |
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There are at least 50 nuclear bombs that have been lost at sea!
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