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George W. Bush
 
"The fundamental question is, 'Will I be a successful president when it comes to foreign policy?' I will be, but until I'm the president, it's going to be hard for me to verify that I think I'll be more effective."-In Wayne, Mich., as quoted in the New York Times, June 28, 2000
 
 

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"I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me."
— Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#84 Oysters can change genders back and forth.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
is so fat she was zoned for commercial development
 
 

One Liners
 
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask your mom.
 
 


Uncle Ted

By: LauraPublished: 01/01/2000
 
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A married fellow gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.

"What's up?" he asks.

"I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"

The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.

"You bastard!!!" says the husband. "My wife's having a heart attack, and all you can do is run around the house naked scaring the kids?"

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You must register to participate in this discussion.
It's alright (0 replies)
started by Anonymous Goofball
(02.05.2001 1:27:48 PM EST)

It made me chuckle but hey that's a typical man so it's usual to see that kind of stuff.

Submition (0 replies)
started by bcouto
(01.23.2001 11:29:01 AM EST)

This site is great

Yupppp. (0 replies)  
started by cheeseball
(12.23.2000 2:21:27 PM EST)

That's good ole uncle Ted for ya!

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