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 My first witness | | By: robnoxious | Published: 07/20/1999 | | |  |
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A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to
the
stand in a trial - a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached
her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded,
"Why,
yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a
young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me.
You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk
about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big
shot
when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to
anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed
across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the
defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known
Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit
him
for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to
me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't
build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is
one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."
At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and
called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he
said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me,
you'll be jailed for contempt!"
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