An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years.
Upon her return, her father cussed her.
"Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum thru?"
The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff....dad....I became a prostitute...."
"Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family."
"OK, dad, as ye wish. I just came back to give Mum this
luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten-bedroom mansion
plus a savings certificate for $5 million. For me little
brother, this gold Rolex and for ye, Daddy, the sparkling
new Mercedes limited-edition convertible that's parked
outside plus a membership in the country club ... (taking
a breath)... And an invitation for ye all to spend New
Year's Eve on board me new yacht in the Riviera, and...."
"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says Dad.
Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff ... A prostitute dad! Sniff, sniff."
"Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said 'a Protestant'. Come here and give yer old man a hug!"