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George W. Bush
 
"More Muslims have died at the hands of killers than - I say more Muslims - a lot of Muslims have died - I don't know the exact count - at Istanbul. Look at these different places around the world where there's been tremendous death and destruction because killers kill." - Washington, D.C., Jan. 29, 2004
 
 

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"The other thing we have to do is to take seriously the role in this problem of ... older men who prey on underage women.... There are consequences to decisions and ... one way or another, people always wind up being held accountable."
— Bill Clinton, June 13, 1996, in a speech endorsing a national effort against teen pregnancy, quoted in U.S. News and World Report.
 
 

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#32 There are one million ants to every human in the world.
 
 

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Q. Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
A. Mace will do that to you.
 
 


Twas the night before Y2K

By: Saggy HousewifePublished: 10/15/1999
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

Subject: Y2K 'Twas the night before Y2K, and all through the nation, We awaited The Bug, the millenium sensation.

The chips were replaced in computers with care, In hopes that ol' Bugsy wouldn't stop there.

While some folks could think they were snug in their beds, others had visions of dread in their heads.

And Ma with her PC and I with my Mac had just logged on the Net and kicked back with a snack,

When over the server there arose such a clatter, I called Mister Gates to see what was the matter.

But he was away, so I flew like a flash, off to my bank to withdraw all my cash.

When what with my wandering eyes should I see? My good old Mac looked sick to me.

The hack of all hackers was looking so smug, I knew that it must be the Y2K Bug!!!

His image downloaded in no time at all, he whistled and shouted, "Let all systems fall !!"

Go Intel! Go Gateway! Now HP! Big Blue! Everything Compaq, and Pentium, too!

All processors big, all processors small, Crash away! Crash away! Crash away all!!

All the controls that planes need for their flights, all microwaves, trains, and all traffic lights.

As I drew in my breath and was turning around, out through the modem, he came with a bound.

He was covered with fur, and slung on his back was a sackful of virus, set for attack.

His eyes - how they twinkled! His dimples how merry! As midnight approached, though, things soon became scary.

He had a broad little face and a round little belly, and his sack filled with virus quivered like jelly.

He was chubby and plump, perpetually grinning, and I laughed when I saw him though my hard drive stopped spinning.

A wink of his eye, and a twist of his head, soon gave me to know a new feeling of dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, he changed all the clocks, then turned with a jerk.

With a twitch of his nose, and a quick little wink, all things electronic soon went on the blink.

He zoomed from my system, to the next folks on line, he caused such a disruption, could this be a sign?

Then I heard him exclaim, with a loud, hearty cry, Happy Y2K to all, Kiss your PC's goodbye!!!

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here's what bothers me... (0 replies)
started by razor696
(01.11.2002 3:21:37 AM EST)

his sack filled with virus quivered like jelly

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle -PLATO

Krazyquik (0 replies)
started by ayanami99
(01.24.2001 10:20:47 PM EST)

You dumbass if you're so crazy quick then why the hell did it take you an hour to read it?!! Dumbass


True, True Aethism Forever!

good job (0 replies)
started by grandmaster2000
(12.04.2000 8:10:51 PM EST)

that was a good one. Good job my friend.

RIDICULUS (0 replies)
started by krazyquick
(11.14.2000 9:06:31 PM EST)

MY GRAND KIDS ARE GOING TO READ ME THE REST OF THIS JOKE AND THEY ARE NOT EVEN BORN YET. I'M GLAD I HAD AN HOUR TO READ THIS LONG ASS JOKE!

HA (0 replies)  
started by Pontifex
(08.27.2000 8:14:37 PM EST)

First..... y'all are losers

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