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George W. Bush
 
"And as I said in my State of the Union, the idea is to see that a car borntoday—I mean, a child born today will be driving a car, as his or herfirst car, which will be powered by hydrogen and pollution-free."Source: Federal News Service, "Remarks by President George W. Bush Re: EnergyIndependence," Feb. 6, 2003
 
 

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Why I Fired My Secretary

By: acidintervalPublished: 05/28/2008
 
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Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast, hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!" and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday."

I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids... They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, "Good Morning Boss, and by the way, Happy Birthday!" It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me." I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!"

We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, it?s such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, do we?" I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?" She said, "Let's drop by my apartment; it's just around the corner."

After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back."

"OK." I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes; she came out carrying a huge birthday cake... followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday".

And I just sat there...

On the couch...

Naked

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